Good Morning My Loves,
Yesterday I was meditating on “personal wholeness,” and how it brings great strength to covenant relationships, such as marriage and ministry.
“Wholeness” can only occur when you have an honest, realistic, belief of who you are in Jesus Christ, and you then love yourself with the same love and acceptance that Jesus does.
Wholeness makes you “powerful.” Brokenness makes you “powerless.”
When you’re able to accept that your worth isn’t based on anyone else’s opinion of you, but Christ's, you become a secure person that can give that same love and acceptance to others. This cannot happen without “both” individuals having a SOLID foundation in Christ.
If you never come to the revelation that God accepts you with all your flaws, you’ll never be able to accept your own, or the flaws of others. You cannot give away what you do not first possess yourself! If you don’t fully love yourself the way God loves you, you will never be able to love others fully.
A healthy marriage, or any healthy covenant relationship for that matter, MUST be the combination of “whole-powerful persons” coming together in “oneness” or “unity” to help carry and support each others God-given purposes.
The person you marry or enter into a ministry covenant relationship with MUST understand and champion your God-given purpose, and visa-versa.
When a powerful-whole person tries to align their life with someone that is powerless-broken, the powerless person will resent the powerful person's dreams, be jealous of their success, and hold them back. The powerful person will champion the powerless person, but the powerless person will not champion the powerful person’s dreams. This isn’t oneness, and it leads to the demise of the relationship, unless the powerless person becomes anchored in the truth of who they are in Christ apart from their partner.
If you’re a “whole-powerful,” person, with a “broken-powerless” person, you’ll become the object of their of criticism, faultfinding, control, and manipulation. Instead of going to God to heal their brokenness and “fill up their empty love tank,” they’ll suck the life out of you. Rather than being a life-giving fountain for each other, you’ll spend your days trying to fuel their “emptiness,” and your dreams stand in jeopardy of being sabotaged, due to their inability to go to God and receive healing and completeness from Him.
This is why it’s so important that you wait and make sure that you are marrying a person walking in “wholeness” and true “God love," prior to marrying or entering into a ministry covenant relationship with them.
Whole people walk in genuine “apape” love, commitment love, covenant love, and it always manifests in honesty, loyalty, and commitment when difficulties arise. Broken-powerless people say “I love you,” but their actions defy their words. Because they are disconnected from God, who IS LOVE, they do not possess what it takes to weather difficult seasons.
Loving is something that powerful people learn to do on purpose. It’s something we choose to do when the feelings are not there. It’s an action word. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes what love looks like in action:
Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous,
Love does not brag. (Watch out for the person who excessively brags about themselves. This is a RED FLAG of insecurity that needs to be healed. It may look like confidence, but it’s rooted in deep insecurity and pride, that only God can heal.)
Love is not proud.
Love is not rude,
Love is not selfish
Love cannot be made angry easily.
Love does not remember wrongs done against it.
Love is never happy when others do wrong, but it is always happy with the truth.
Love never gives up on people.
Love never stops trusting
Love never loses hope
Love never quits.
Let’s stay committed to walking in personal “wholeness” so that we can be powerful people that are able to support and help carry the purposes of Christ in each other’s life. But, let’s never try to be anyone’s savior. That only enables brokenness-powerlessness, and leads to the demise of relationships and our destinies. Let’s point the broken people in our lives to Jesus. He is the only one that can make them whole. Let’s not get in a hurry to make covenant with anyone that is powerless. Let’s pray for them and wait for their foundation in Christ to be solid, so that what we build together will last.
I love you all! PV